So I was talking with my girlfriend, who studies psychology -and is not jewish, but I’m, reform btw- about how in her perspective as an almost psychologyst and also a nurse, humans are a cycle.
Since I don’t know almost anything about medical language, I’m pretty sure I didn’t understand everything she said, but the main idea was that, put in simple words, just as someone who is running in a marathon has to rest at some point, we are meant to also replicate the inconstancy of life by changing perspectives of what we use, thus the cycle thing. Like, life of course is not constant, but sometimes we also should put that inconstancy actively in our lifes.
We were talking about this because I told her that, although I always try to be thankful with Hashem, and put our couple’s plans on his hands, recently I feel like if I lost a part of my faith. I simply don’t enjoy studying Torah as I did. I don’t even feel obligated or like if I should do it. I have even forgot a lot of hebrew, and I don’t feel motivated.
So she said that maybe I’ve been ‘running’ a lot with my faith, and I should let it rest. At first I was thinking that it is contradictory to judaism. I mean, we are mean to believe in G-d constantly, right? A lot of things, in my opinion, say that implicitly.
But then, maybe she could be right and I should take a break and try not to force my faith. Maybe you guys know of an example or something in the Torah that could actually be an example of this: Putting emunah apart for some time.
The thing is that I also feel like maybe this is just yetzer hara. That I should embrace my faith and stay strong. For example, I haven’t found a job and rab Shalom Arush said the maintenance of life (money, food…) depends on a man’s level of emunah and bitachon, so, giving up my faith right now… you see my problem, right?
But, for the other side, I also think she could be right. That ‘cycle’ of feeling unmotivated, for me, comes like every 3 years. It was my time hahaha, so what she said is that I should change my perspective of me being the child and my faith being my father.
That’s why my question for today is: Is believing a G-d also a part of those cycles?