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I’m a Jew who strayed away from our traditions and wants to return!

Hi,

I love writing long messages and the topic is quite complicated so I’m sorry for the long text. There’s a TLDR at the bottom.

I was born in 2002 in a smaller German city. My mother came to Germany in 1999 since she was Jewish and wanted to move out of Azerbaijan at that moment of time.
My Grand-grand-grandfather was a descendant of the Yusupov family and a Juhuro Jew (what I can prove with several documents) and my grand-grand-grandmother was an Ashkenazi jew. However we can not prove this because the documents given by the synagogue, which would prove, that she is Jewish were burnt during WWII so that they can escape Nazi Germany and flee to Baku, where some relatives were living.

Now my mother wasn’t raised in a conservative or orthodox way by any means, but she went to the synagogue on every Shabbos, learned Hebrew and tried to raise my with the typical flair of “we are Jews and you have to stick to our traditions and holidays no matter if you believe or don’t”

Now, the issue is, that when my mother wanted to join a Jewish community they denied her, since we couldn’t prove, that her mother was Jewish. The people there stared at us and disallowed me to play violin on holiday-concerts. So when I was 7 or 8 someone told my mother, that we shouldn’t come to Shabbos anymore, since we are not Jewish and she stopped.

Later I got bullied at school for being Jewish (I still don’t know how they found out) and some weird boys started to punch me saying “Jews deserve to be treated like that” (both boys were Ukrainians btw) and my teacher was a racist prick, who didn’t care and treated all immigrants like shit (even though she wasn’t truly German either).
Since in Germany there are classes called “Religion class” (attended by Christians) and “Ethics class” (attended by everybody else) my mother decided to put me into “Religion” classes instead of “Ethics”, since she believed, that people might forget I am Jewish if I went there for long enough or think, that I actually converted and stop bullying me.

However the only one who forgot that I was Jewish was me.

I got baptised when I was 12 because my father actually converted to Christianity and I declined the offer to have my Bar Mitzvah (some guy who was really kind to my mum and my dad moved to our city and was good friends with the Rabbi so that he’d accept me even though my mother is a goy on paper), because I “felt more like a christian”.
Don’t ask me why I did that. I really don’t remember, but I think it was because I felt like nobody wanted me back in the synagogue, but everybody was so friendly at the church?

Anyway. Time passed, I grew up and I was reading much about Judaism and really, really, really, really hate myself not having my Bar Mitzvah, since I understand now, that I do actually feel some sort of closeness to this religion, culture and people.
I want to return to the synagogue as soon as I move to a different city in order to study at the University there next year, but I don’t remember any traditions, rules or anything else.

Do you guys know if it is possible for me to join a Jewish community without Giyur somehow? What is the best way to explain the situation to the Rabbi at my new city? What is the fastest way to remind myself of all the rules, traditions and practices?

TL;DR I converted to Christianity 7 years ago because the synagogue didn’t accept my mum as a true Jew and now want to return back to Judaism

submitted by /u/LordQuantumKeks
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Source: Reditt

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