First of all I am 100% sure that it isn’t about the religion itself. I would probably be way more self conscious about it if it was Christianity I was looking at.
I considered myself an atheist until recently. Then, I started briefly attending NA, where I was kind of told that if I didn’t start believing in g-d I would be an addict forever. (I have been doing better with other secular programs after leaving) Simultaneously, I went into the real world after graduating university, and was suddenly struck with wondering about a greater meaning in my life, now that the convenient meaning of graduating and getting a job was gone.
Anyway, I feel somehow self conscious about wanting to become observant and I have no idea why. Like I would be very embarrassed to be seen entering a shul. Maybe it’s because I view observant religious practice as an old person thing ? (No offense). Any advice?