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I struggling to find how Jewish I am, and I’m not sure what I’d want for my future family

I’m in the mix of a bit of an identity crisis.

I was raised Jewish to two Jewish parents, both with large Jewish families. My dog is named after my great great grandmother, a Russian-born jewish immigrant. Neither of my parents went to hebrew school, or had their b’nai mitzvah. So in 5th grade, it came up in a discussion with my brothers 2nd grade teacher that she also taught Hebrew school, so we went there for about three years. It got to be too much after a while for my family, financially and time commitment-wise. We simply wanted to play sports on weekends with weekday practices, and it wasn’t so much that we didn’t want to continue our jewish education as much as, logistically, we couldn’t do both. Turned 13, and life went on.

Fast forward to high school, I was constantly bullied for being Jewish (our suburb in particular was majority non-jewish). Not really gonna go into detail, there. In college, I rushed fraternities and was bidded by one of the Jewish fraternities. Wasn’t a druggie, wasn’t super rich, and I ended up choosing to not join.

After college, I got my first job in a small rural city with very few Jews. I found it nearly impossible to date. Many women would want me to come with to church pretty early in the dating phase. I ended up moving back home for job related reasons. I did have a stable relationship for just under a year, but we were never serious enough to discuss how we’d raise our kids…. but that’s the situation I’m in now.

I’ve been dating someone for just over a year now, and I love her a lot. She’s Catholic, and she recently asked me how I’d want to raise my children. I wasn’t sure how to respond and asked her if we could talk about it annother time. I asked her the same question, and she said she wanted her children to be aware of other religions and hypothetically, observe both religion’s holidays and traditions. Is this even possible?

I always would respond “I’m Jewish” if people asked me what my religion was, but it was never a huge part of who I am. I wouldn’t kneel at a church, I wouldn’t really care if a Christmas tree was in my living room, but it would feel weird to see my child baptized. Have I ever gone on dates with Jewish women? Sure. But it would typically wouldn’t work out when they discovered I wasn’t really a practicing Jew even though I identified as one. Is having Jewish children even a dealbreaker to me? Do I really want to put a child through what I want though in high school?

It’s not that I’m worried about if my SO would be accepted by my family. Each of my aunt/uncles married interfaith (although one of my aunts recently converted and they renewed their vows with a Jewish wedding). But I don’t want to end a relationship over me not wanting my kids to be raised catholic, when I’m not even really sure I want Jewish children.

TL;DR — I grew up as a non-practicing jew, but I consider it a part of who I am. Recently my girlfriend asked me how I wanted to raise my children, and I am having a hard time navigating who I am and what I’d value for my future family.

Edit: Grammar and a typo.

submitted by /u/Impressive-Grade-645
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Source: Reditt