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I have mocked Christianity and I feel horrible

I am a male high school student at a very white very Christian midwestern highschool. It’s a public school but it is probably the whitest and most Christian public high school in my county. People who are either my friends or not my friends often tease me about being Jewish making gas chamber jokes and what not and as a result I joke back, and one thing I have resorted to a lot is mocking their messiah. I say stuff like “Go worship your man god” or directly make fun of the fact that their god was nailed to a cross and “died”. When people joke with me about how Jews killed him sometimes I joke and pretend to be proud of that fact. I don’t hate Christian’s, I don’t hate Christianity, sometimes I get the small urge inside of me to turn to it because it gives us as humans more closure on what life will bring us and to have a physical figure to worship and pray to its comforting for us, except then I come back to reality and know that that’s idolatry and closure does not matter only faith in the lord does. I scroll on tiktok and YouTube shorts, and I see these Christian videos of them saying that the sin of blasphemy against their god is unforgivable without placing my faith in him. I’m just scared, even with my faith firmly in Judaism it’s not just about being scared on if we are all wrong but I just feel terrible on a moral perspective even if I didn’t offend anyone, I feel shitty. Can anyone give me some spiritual insight on this maybe?

submitted by /u/Cwispy124
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Source: Reditt