I don’t want to ever get pregnant. This makes me worried, because as a jewish woman, especially in my city, I feel like every single jewish man wants to be a father. This worries me because I don’t want to marry a non jew as well. I hope I can find the right one who will understand

I am 24 years old currently. As a 24 year old, I have started to think about my future more than ever. I know I want to get married. I am not religious, but I still incorporate a lot of judaism into my life. That is what it was like growing up for me.

But I have realized due to personal reasons, I may not be able to be pregnant. Even without that issue, I have never wanted to be pregnant anyways. As a little girl, I remember having this immediate strong fear of the pain of pregnancy and told myself I could never do it. I don’t care what anyone says about how God made it this way, that woman can do it. Please look up the list of pregnancy complications. Every single friend of mine has had traumatizing experiences. My own mother was NEVER the same after having me and my siblings.

I am rambling now. Sorry. The point is, I am worried now.

I fear that this is going to make my life so much harder, because I feel like every single jewish guy in this city I live in wants a family. I do also sometimes, but I know it would have to be through adoption or surrogacy (the second one is probably impossible because $)

I just hate how so many people have these strong, hateful, judgmental opinions without knowing anything at all about my personal life. And more so in the jewish world… man, people won’t get that. They are so judgy about it. It hurts me but I just care what people think so much. They will be quick to say I am not a real woman, I am a weak, etc. It’s all disgusting, the things I have heard.

No one in my life knows about this decision. I know I am still young, but I also know that throughout my experiences with my health and anxiety- I literally cannot do it. I am so scared for that chapter, where I have to start dating and at some point tell men this and see what they would feel. And to tell my friends.. family.. just people knowing. I feel like everyone will be very judgmental about it, try to talk me out of it, try to tell me it is natural, etc etc.