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I am so sick of Judaism

I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t make myself believe any of it, and the only thing keeping me here is that my partner and a lot of my friends are religious. I used to be. But now I’m so tired of it all. I’m tired of “praying,” I’m tired of Shabbat and holidays. I’m tired of them interrupting my life and taking away the little free time I have. I’m tired of the inane routines. I’m tired of the songs. I feel like I have no life outside of this.

This morning I said I’d come to shul “later” but it’s 1:45 pm and I do not want to go stand until my legs hurt mumbling things I don’t believe in. I feel so bad about feeling this way but I don’t know how to snap out of this.

I hate that there’s still more holidays coming up. More wasted days in shul. More cooking for and cleaning up after a bunch of people for every meal. More sitting around all day making small talk with house guests. I don’t get how I used to enjoy the groundhog day experience of doing this every single week.

I am so, so sick of it. I’ll probably delete this post later but I just have to say this somewhere and I can’t tell anyone in my life.

submitted by /u/Ok-Tangerine8121
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Source: Reditt