I don’t know where to start but I will try to explain my situation.
My mother is Jewish but my father is not. I am against their marriage because Jews should not marry goys yet whenever I say that to anyone (I don’t have the courage to say that to my parents), people always tell me that I should be happy about it because it is the reason I am alive and that I am hypocritical. I always retort by saying a bastard child can be against adultery but I feel people don’t get it.
Whenever people ask what type of Jew I am (meaning Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Mizrahi, etc), I always say half Ashkenazi, half Sephardic, even though it is my mother who is those things and not me.
I am a minor so I can’t do certain things on my own. I was/am raised very secular by my parents and it is something I hold against them. I had to do work to convince my parents to let me join a reform synagogue at 14 and I will have my bar mitsva at 15. I have always been fond of my grandparents house and spending time with my grandparents because they are more religious. They do Shabbat every week and my immediate family doesn’t. They have a mezuza on their doorframe and when I asked my mother if we can put one on ours, she said no.
My mother was raised reform and went to Hebrew school as a kid and had her bat mitsva at 13 and I feel resentful that she didn’t give me the same opportunity growing up that she had. I have to play catch-up now i stead of being given the opportunities she had. I also try to keep kosher but I feel my parents don’t respect it and/or think I am joking about it. They don’t keep the house kosher, which is not something I expect them to do, but they could at least be mindful at separating kosher foods from non-kosher food. An example is sometimes I will put some food in the fridge I want to eat later and they will put an open bag of pepperonis right on top of it so I throw out my food because there is a high risk of cross contamination and they get mad at me for wasting food even though none of them want to eat it. Another example is sometimes they will decide they want sea food and will take me to a shellfish restaurant that has really only shellfish on the menu and then will get mad at me for ordering a salad and not eating shellfish.
Am I allowed to dislike my parents marriage without being hypocritical? Am I allowed to say I am half Ashkenazi, half Sephardic? Am I allowed to hold it against my parents for raising me secular, not giving me the same opportunities my mom had, and not respecting my dietary restriction?
Im sorry if this comes off ranting but I am in a place of confusion and I am hoping this sub could help.