I (22M) broke up with my Catholic girlfriend (20F) of 2 months. I know that doesn’t sound like a long time but I felt really comfortable with her and I thought we were a good match. I felt like I could stay in this relationship for a long time.
I had some problems like creating distance between us, but I think these were things I could have worked through. Dealing with them made me confront the long term viability of the relationship. I wasn’t religiously selective with who I dated but now faced with this situation I’m questioning my own beliefs and relationship to Judaism.
I was raised by eastern European immigrants who weren’t able to practice. Some of them were even ashamed of their Judaism and tried to hide it until they immigrated to the US. I’m learning now that later in life it was a big regret for them as they try to take back some tradition. I didn’t have a Bar Mitzvah and I haven’t really been to Temple. Yet the way I feel connected to my family, and the way I see my family connected to their ancestors is through Judaism. I’m terrified that I might lose that if I don’t eventually marry someone who is more religious than me.
This breakup was extremely painful to the point where I’m questioning what’s more important to me. I’ve dated a bit and this was the first time I’ve met someone who I felt like really loved and cared about me. I felt like we understood each other. I was just afraid that if I don’t break up now, that it would hurt a lot more later.
Now I feel like I’m trying to find excuses. My family doesn’t keep kosher, we’ve never done Shabbat, I wasn’t Bar Mitzvah’d. My Father’s Father was an Italian Catholic who converted to Judaism after marrying my Grandmother. Why does this suddenly matter to me so much? Did I make a huge mistake?
With that I guess I’m just looking for any words of wisdom/guidance, thank you.
submitted by /u/AffectionateDegree1