Shortly after taking the necessary first steps to become a Jew, I received an autism diagnosis. On one hand, it explained a lot of my traits that I always thought of as weird or off putting. I finally had something to blame on why I have trouble with empathy or close relationships.
Perhaps Judaism is one of my “special interests” since I absorb knowledge related to it like a sponge and feel that I have a genuine religious experience while observing and attending services.
It’s just I can’t seem to click with my new family outside of that realm. I’ll hang out with fellow tribe members and be thought of as funny and perhaps intelligent, but I feel like they don’t take my poorly timed smiles, inability to make eye contact, and awkward conversation style well, which leads me to feel like I’m being shunned. And if making Jewish friends is proving difficult, I’m worried how hard it will be to find someone who could be my wife.
Should I just be upfront that I’m on the spectrum and filter out those that can’t tolerate it? Is there anyone that can relate or give me advice