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How to honor terrible parents, help please!

I really struggle with the mitzvah of honoring my parents. My father, of blessed memory, was a mostly good man, but was verbally and physically and emotionally abusive to me my sister and my mother growing up. My mother is a classic narcissist and treats all of our family better than me. It seems to me, from what she says, I reminder her too much of my father and she hated him. We must honor our parents and I would love to, but man is it hard to. It’s easier to honor my father since he has passed, but my mother continues to harm me. I’ve read several interpretations and rabbinical opinions on the meaning, but just want to reach out to the tribe to see what the pulse on this is. TIA

submitted by /u/AbbreviationsDear559
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Source: Reditt