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How to handle losing patience with G-d

I’m a young female in her 20s. I’ve had episodes of intense anxiety for years and years. Ever since the beginning of this year i have experienced the most painful experiences in my life, one thing after another. Many events that have left me completely depressed and isolated. Years i have prayed, prayed and had patience. I’ve done everything. No sign from hashem that anything good is going to happen. Actually one good thing happened and it lasted for a couple months, but then it was taken away as fast. I was so happy.

As someone who grew up observant the only thing i hear from my family is “it’s because you did this” or “it’s not gd who is doing this”. But all my prayers? My pleading? Where is he? I am frum, i keep everything. But now i am losing patience and hope, and i hate to say this but i am almost losing faith in gd. I absolutely do not want to. People in my circle that i talk to about this say i don’t have enough emunah. I don’t have enough this and that. They pray for me too, they even pray for me when they visit Israel.

How do i go on about this? From a torah perspective? Or anything. I don’t want to lose faith

submitted by /u/elleoeoee
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Source: Reditt

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