How do you maintain your faith when tragedy is happening all around?

I’m not sure if this is allowed, but after hearing about what happened in Highland Park, I feel sick. Almost half the lives lost were Jewish. I am pretty secular at this moment in my life, but I was raised with certain exposure to Judaism and have always wanted to raise a Jewish family of my own. While I know this wasn’t an antisemetic attack, it’s still sickening. I’ve always felt guilty for not being religious enough, but then Tragedy happens and I feel like being religious isn’t even worth it.