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How do you know that hashem is out there?

It’s late on the east coast and I’m probably not going to look at the responses until morning. That said, these sorts of thoughts come up at night so I figured now is the time to write them down. I also have a habit of unintentionally writing novels so I’ll keep this as short as I can. It’s gonna be a rambling mess.

I’ve been feeling… bad.. lately. Like really bad. And I know I shouldn’t be. It isn’t right. I have a nice place, my career is doing well. I mean, fuck work in general.. but the money is there. I’m not starving.

But due to some lingering issues from childhood, and other things.. I occasionally slump into periods of shit. For the past few years I’ve been doing good.. but now I feel worse than I ever have. I feel like unresolved issues are catching up with me. Due to certain social anxiety issues and trust issues I can’t really find a woman to be with long term. I’m getting older and honestly feel like I’m going to die alone. I have a small friend group, yet they’re all slowly getting occupied with their own things. We’re growing distant. I just want to love more than anything else, yet the window of opportunity is closing.

And in general I just feel.. garbage. Like.. I go to work, go to the gym, watch Netflix and pass out on the couch. I can’t bring myself to get hobbies. Interacting is hard and I don’t have much energy. I waste all that energy during the day.

So basically… I need to know why you think G-d exists. Because I need something right now. I need him. I never really believed in him but I need him. Please tell me how you convince yourself to believe.

Disclaimers: Yes, I’m in therapy. I’ve sort of stopped going for years because I felt better about things but I’m gonna go back. No, I’m not going to do anything stupid. But damn it do I not feel good right now.

Point blank: Is G-d there and how do you know? And can you prove it?

submitted by /u/KnakheMacher
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Source: Reditt