I have done something which primarily only impacted me, but which has caused a secondary impact and suffering to my husband and child. Due to the nature of the wronging and the lie within I cannot tell them and never will be able to, yet the damage caused to me was permanent (deafness).
Please just accept in face value that I cannot tell them. I made a silly choice and am now permanently hearing impaired by choice (it’s a mental illness called BIID).
How can I seek forgiveness from them if telling them would hurt them more and lead to my homelessness and divorce? I feel awful about sinning against my own husband, I can’t explain why I did what I did, it just felt “right” in the moment. I would like to clarify that I have no other underlying mental illnesses, only BIID.
Please help me, thank you.