this is really not a serious vent so dont worry about me but im really struggling not feeling jewish enough. i know im 1/8th russian jew, maternally so technically im jewish whether i like it or not, but i still feel so invalid. ive never set foot in a synagogue, most of my family is christian, and ive never celebrated jewish holidays before. i really want to convert entirely but like my family is VERY unsupportive and idk. we have alters that are jewish and know a lot more about judaism than i do but still. i want a hebrew name and i want to convert entirely and i want to live as a jewish person but my family is so unaccepting and where I live has a very small jewish population so its hard to find anybody else. where do i start? where do i begin? when do i get to consider myself “a real jewish person”. should i start reading the Torah? is it disrespectful of me to start converting? please help!
edit : i would like to convert to reform judaism btw!