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Heartbroken

I was raised in a messianic Jewish household by a single mother. From an early age, I attended seder services every Friday, wore kippah, blew shofar, etc. My mother, aunt, and grandmother were proud of our Jewish heritage, and ensured I was as well. I am now 29 and have begun to explore my family genealogy. During my investigations I have uncovered that although my ancestors were Hasidim in Spain, there has not been an unbroken lineage of women. There has been at least one person in the line who was male, and although he had a daughter, this violates halacha to my understanding, and therefore means I am not a Jew.

I am so heartbroken over this. I rejected my messianic upbringing and have embraced Tanakh, and now it feels pointless. I feel like a Jew trapped in a Noachide body. My wife and I eat Kosher, keep Shabbos, etc. Please give me some insight on how to make sense of this, because I am heartbroken and feel like I have lost something that I was apparently never entitled to to begin with.

submitted by /u/old_pond
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Source: Reditt