I had recently been in a casual relationship for 4 months with a Jewish man that I met on Hinge. We are both 28. He ended things with me about 3 weeks ago saying he “couldn’t see himself with someone who was not Jewish as his grandparent was a Holocaust survivor” and how important being with someone Jewish was to him and that he had actually been seeing someone else who was Jewish and wanted to get serious with her. He went on to reiterate that he was not religious but wanted to pass down the Judaism for his grandparent.
I am not Jewish (as he knew from the start) and felt very blindsided when I was told this news because we had had many conversations about our backgrounds, if we wanted children, families, etc. He always just reiterated he was not religious (never mentioned the grandparent) when I’d ask him about his background. I felt like he had had many opportunities to mention this. I was also a bit confused why he had ever matched with me or asked me out knowing that he could never see himself with someone like me. On our first date he told me he liked who I was ethnically. I will never fully understand the Jewish culture as I am not but I do understand how he can not celebrate Jewish holidays anymore or anything but still want carry on his heritage/genetics to honor his family. Though I do wish he had been upfront from the beginning as this doesn’t sound like a sudden epiphany he had.
My issue now is it’s been 3 weeks since we last spoke and just last night he sent me a long text message saying that he was wrong and a fool to let me go. That he is in love with me and it doesn’t matter to him that I am not Jewish because he chooses me. Obviously this is what I had been irrationally dreaming would happen because I too was falling for him. But I am very hesitant – will the fact that I am not Jewish become a problem again? Is he truly ok with it? Would I need to upfront ask him about conversion? Also, did things just not work out with this Jewish girl so I’m the back-up choice?