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Has G-d answered your prayers? (a rant about my situation, praying, and my beliefs)

To whoever reads this and replies to this, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

At the age of 23 years old, as a jewish woman (not religious, but spiritual) I am blessed to say that for most of my life, nothing bad has happened to me. But, when I turned 19 years old, everything in my life flipped upside down. I was struck with a load of terrible mental health issues, that turned me into a person I did not recognize. I started to instinctively think of the worst, and that is what usually happens. I have this gut feeling that my deeply pessimistic, negative, paranoid self, and one that has stopped praying to G-d almost entirely, is only causing more terrible things to happen to me. Or at least that is what I tell myself, because the amount of completely random health issues I have experienced the past 2 years gives me the desire to put a reason as to why all this is happening. If it were all random, I am not sure I could bear it.

I have been very angry at G-d lately. For the first time in my life, I have lost hope and don’t feel like praying to Him. When I try to, I feel guilty and frustrated because I only pray to G-d wanting a quick answer. I realized, huh, maybe the reason G-d has not answered me is because I have not put in real effort. A religious friend told me a story about how Moses begged G-d to let him in to Israel, and he just kept praying over and over for days, until G-d finally told him to stop praying, because if he prayed one more time he would have to let him in, and he really does not want Moses to go.

I feel like that story shows that if you pray enough, He will answer. I know everyone believes that he only answers and does what is needed for us, but I wholeheartedly believe that I cannot live happy if my health issues do not get resolved. I really have been fighting hard and trying to stay strong, and have hope in Hashem, but it has been 3 years of this and I can’t take it anymore. I really miss the days I felt completely healthy and not filled with anxiety from my countless forms of pain that I experience on a daily basis.

So what I am here to ask is, has anyone here experienced something that shows you G-d does answer you? Do you think praying daily makes a difference in how likely He is to answer and help you?

submitted by /u/VirtualSun2
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Source: Reditt

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