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Haircovering advice

When my husband and I got married, I was excited to start covering my hair. My husband was happy about that. I wore hats and scarves as i couldn’t afford a decent wig but i took on the commitment without fully understanding that id never be able to “wear hair” again. Well, fast forward to 10 years in and I’m absolutely tired of never “wearing hair” on my head. The wigs I managed to get are literally not wearable for several reasons. Firstly, they look awful, truly. I can’t afford the wig salon prices for cuts, dyes, styling etc and for the nicer wigs. So they’re in their raw state with a basic cut. Putting money into them would be silly too, even if i had the money. Theyre old, cheap wigs. Secondly, I have legitimate medical conditions that make wearing a wig very challenging. I have a variety if chronic illness and get migraines and head pain on a daily basis. The last thing I want to put on my head is a wig. (I am disabled due to my medical issues.) Thirdly, I’m always sweating as a result of medical issues. I literally cannot tolerate having a wig on my head making me overheat when I’m already overheating.

This has been a constant source of arguments. Sometimes I’m completely okay with wearing a headscarf, depending on where I’m going and what I’m doing, like if im going to the kosher supermarket, ill usually be dressed very casually and dont mind a headscarf. I live in a smaller community, not tiny but frum people are not the majority of the town. I want to wear a hat with a low bun in the back and my husband disagrees with that. He believes I shouldn’t be showing any hair at all. For example, if im going for a walk by the sea, I’d like to be able to wear just a hat without tucking my hair in or for when i want to get a little dressed up, i feel the scarf ruins cute outfits. We live in a mod Orthodox community which has a lot of Orthodox families that moved in lately. But the community is pretty diverse in terms of headcovering.

My husband also believes that wearing a hat with a bun sticking out is comparable to walking around naked in terms of halacha. Like he said if I want to wear a hat like that, I may as well wear no hat or headcovering at all because it’s the same thing. I cannot bring myself to fully uncover my hair, and I imagine that would cause even bigger issues in my marriage.

submitted by /u/AdTrue6049
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Source: Reditt