Had to share – religious roller coaster

I’m about halfway thru my conversion process. My partner told his stepmother about it. And her reaction was that I needed to let “Jesus into my heart” or something like that. OK, she’s 80+ Whatcha gonna do?

But it did sort of surprise me because she did marry a Jewish man (my partner’s father). He died a few years before I met my partner so obviously I never knew his father, but I knew his dad wasn’t observant in adulthood and hadn’t raised my SO as…anything. SO’s mother is also not Jewish.

(Just to note, I’m converting for me and me alone. But having a dual heritage partner means he’s happy enough to be a secular partner in a Jewish household, and he’s supportive of my journey and changing our cycle of holidays and sometimes attending and even enthusiastically volunteering at shul. He is not converting with me.)

We had dinner with her tonight. I was sort of dreading it, but my plan was nod and smile. Nod and smile. She didn’t say anything awkward and about halfway through dinner she said “___ told me you were interested in Jewish culture, so I thought I’d give you this…”

She handed me a bag with my father-in-law’s talit, a siddur given to him on the occasion of his bar mitzvah, challah cover and a very fancy kippah that I assume was from his bar mitzvah as well. I was really touched. I mean, it was just truly lovely and I was thinking about all the events in future we would be able to use some of these items and honor my partner’s father and his family heritage. Like maybe in our wedding or the first time I receive the Torah, you know, special occasions.

Then she said “I’m not using them anymore anyway. We used to use them for Christian Passover at my church.”

Oh.

Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

And on the way out she said “They’re not pressuring you to convert are they?” I told her that wasn’t the way. “But they probably want to share the joy like we Christians do.” Nod and smile. Nod and smile. I told her my congregation was very welcoming and let me share in the joy.

And finally… “They know you’re just taking the classes because you’re interested in the culture right?”

Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

My partner said I should have told her I was just there for the codes to the space laser.