I grew up super yeshivish and had a lot of questions regarding Jewish faith. I find it very difficult to believe that there was a revelation at Sinai, and much easier to believe in a Judaism that evolved over time and in what the Bible critics say. To me, belief in God is separate from belief in Judaism. I am agnostic regarding God, but have great difficulties believing that the supernatural events in the Torah actually occurred. I am considering leaving Orthodoxy and joining Reconstructionist Judaism.
I have read many books (“apologetics”) that provide “proofs” to the truth of Judaism, and none of the proofs worked for me. Everyone I talk to says “read this book” “read that book” “you should spend your entire life thinking about this”. I’ve read all the books, and I don’t intend to spend the rest of my life thinking about this.
I would like to stay religious (it would make my life much easier!!!) but I can’t live a life where I believe one way and act in another.
Please do your best to convince me, without using the Kuzari Principle, which I have heard a 100 times before. Throw your best arguments, I want to hear them!!!
I hope it’s ok for me to post this here.
(Please don’t DM me about how evil and how much of an apikores I am, that would just be rude)