Going to kiddush and not the baby naming ceremony?

I’m patrilineally jewish, only kind of raised with Jewish holidays via family friends. Said friends I’m not very close to now but I care for them all the same. They invited my mom to their baby naming ceremony via email. I didn’t get an invite and heard about it yesterday night from my mom and it’s tomorrow.

My mom is going to skip the shabbat service and baby naming and go to the kiddush. I would do the same because the idea of showing up alone to a service at a temple I don’t go to fills me with insane anxiety.

Is this wrong? I don’t know what to do and I’m panicking.

I’m also a butch lesbian and would wear slacks with a button down shirt. Is that okay? This is a conservative synagogue.