Brief historical context: I went to a Yeshiva when I was younger, but due to some behavioral and family issues I was pulled out to go to public school. Even though I went to secular school, I still went to religious school 3-days/wk. The Hebrew school I went to was Conservative and taught nothing but Israeli history, what I learned at Yeshiva up until the age of 11 they probably taught like 10% (being generous) of it. I had a very bad experience with the Rabbi, who was an egomaniac and embarrassed me on the Bimah. With two bad experiences became secular and distanced myself away from organized religion.
Over the past year I have become more observant. Initially wrapping tefillin and davening by myself (like riding a bike!), dusting off my old Chumash, observing shabbos, ect. Now, I’ve been through a lot in my life: rough childhood, raised by a single mother, family loss, anxiety issues, etc. but I’ve done well for myself. Got through college, have a doctorate, married, have beautiful wife and house.
However, I always felt something was missing and couldn’t put my finger on it. As I started davening again, I realized my connection to G-d and other Jewish people has been missing. At this point, I’m missing part of my Jewish education that I should’ve had a long time ago. I’m also at a point where I feel like I need to take a year (or more if need be) for study.
Thoughts? Thanks for reading!