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God where are you ?

Why do i suffer, when i had everyrhing and it was taken a way in an instant , why do we suffer i always felt like i was good to other jews , why do i still belive i feel like ive been proggrammed since childhood to belive and feel what i feel but i still suffer why , why am i asking this on yhe judaism subreddit well i guess its because i grew uo orthodox and still feel that hold of programming on me , maybe its rwal maybe its not but either way ive felt like ive been running in circles trying to follow you just not to be knocked down struck down i dont want to lose everything all over again operating out of fear not doing what i really wanted to do all along was run away from judaism but tsking on the little things has gotten me nowhere running around in circles for about ten years now god of a judiasm what is real why did you do this to me why

submitted by /u/Ok_Olive8578
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Source: Reditt