Married into a mixed family recently. Spouse went through a conversion and was raised by a christian and a jewish person. Last year, christmas gifts were given to us (awkwardly because we dont participate in christmas and had nothing for them). This year we tried to avoid that by sending a nice little email to the gentile MIL to let her know that we don’t do christmas and please don’t buy us anything. During plans to visit them this December (not for or on christmas) she blurts out that we are celebrating with her as we will be “respecting diversity of religions” just like she “hasn’t said anything about the Judaism” Basically telling us that we will be forced to attend her “christmas dinner”
Actually she is borderline antisemetic, questioning every practice and belief, making comments about the orthodox, trying to get my spouse to eat treif whenever were around them. Giving us a hard time and gatekeeping “caring about family” whenever we priortize something Jewish over her (ex. not going with them somewhere to keep Shabbos)
I told her we would be happy to have dinner with the family, (half of which is Jewish), but its just dinner, and nothing else. She asked why we couldnt just go along with it and I told her its pagan and idoltry is forbidden. I didn’t want to spell it out like that for her, but she would not listen to anything else. She still probably wont respect that, and I’m already deciding that if we are so blessed with children, not to bring them around her for the entire month of December, sadly missing out on Hanukkah, in order to avoid the christmastizing. It is no wonder they advise against mixed marraiges. Generations later, it is still a problem. Can I get any suggestions from some frum folk?