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Follow up to last nights post – can I casually date non-Jewish?

Follow up to yesterdays post about marrying Jewish

So, I got a lot of incredible advice about interfaith marriage etc which I truly appreciate. I’m sending the responses to a few of my Jewish friends as well. Especially that lecture someone sent me.

But, one thing kind of confused me. Some commenters were saying I should only even casually date or even hook up with girls that are Jewish as well. One commenter said that if I had a non Jewish FWB I would be a “total scumbag” because I’d be leading them on for sex. Of course maybe they didn’t mean it quite that harsh but they did use those words.

I don’t know, this sounds like a little more commitment than I can handle. Why can’t I hang out and give love to people that I’m not intending to marry as long as I don’t lead them to seriously believe that’s the direction the relationship is heading? Marriage is only one part of the cycle of one’s love life.

I would tell them if we were exclusive for several months or something. But I definitely don’t seriously expect any girl I’ve been hooking up with or even exclusively dating for less than 6 months to marry me so if they really expected that beforehand idk what to say. I mean I’m still like over 5 years from average marriage age in a city.

For example I used to see this girl a lot but eventually she told me she wouldn’t date me because I smoked pot and she didn’t (I don’t anymore whatsoever). I wasn’t offended and still kept on seeing her because she was a wonderful person. I sure as heck didn’t feel like she was using me or leading me on – it was her boundary and it was my choice to keep seeing her despite this boundary. Also, she didn’t tell me this immediately, only after an appropriate amount of time, a couple months, when it was reasonable for me to start thinking in that direction.

To sum it up I’ll only pursue Jewish girls for serious relationships or marriage but I don’t think I want to take it any further than that.

Oh, and finally, there’s the process of turning yourself into a Jew through a rabbi. Lots and lots of non Jewish girls are willing to do so and in my sect, conservative Judaism, it is 100% valid. It’s actually valid in all branches of Judaism by God’s law if you do the right process. I know some awesome Jewish homes with a Jewish dad and newly Jewish mother. But how will I get close enough to ask them if they are interested in this if I never give them even the slightest chance?

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