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feeling worried for tonight (passover)

I’m nervous for tonight as it is my families first serious passover dinner in two years which means that the women of jewish mothers will have to light candles. I am a transmasc individual who isn’t even out to my parents yet, let alone the rest of my family. As a biological woman from a jewish mother I know I will be involved, but it feels wrong in the sense that I will be lighting a candle while knowing myself that I am not a woman. I’ll have to just do it and put my own identity aside for now but I feel improper knowingly participating in a tradition in which I do not belong. I would tell this to my cousin who is organizing the dinner, but then I know it would cause confusion among everyone else as to why I am not lighting a candle which would then lead to questions. It’s not that my family isn’t accepting or bigoted, I just still feel too nervous to come out and I know a major religious holiday is not the time to do so.

submitted by /u/throwingaccount-outt
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Source: Reditt

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