Does hashem hate me?

First of all- i come from an orthodox family. But deep down i’m not morally perfect. Its hard for me to show sympathy and empathy, because i can’t relate to specific emotions and feelings. Sometimes i can be incredibly selfish and greedy, and have myself in first interest. Sometimes i’m mean to my parents and siblings. Sometimes i feel like a horrible person that does not deserve to live in this world, maybe hashem does not want me to be alive.

I’m not that tznius. I dress the part, but sometimes i don’t act the part. My mom knows of this, i’ve pretty much “rebelled”. I date non jews. But i don’t want to do these things. And i can kind of feel that hashem does not like me? Like i can’t control my personality, i feel like my personality is bad. I’m a bad person. Does hashem hate me? What if i can’t change? Am i doomed?