Death

I just learned that a person I have been friends with for years through the internet died tonight. I don’t know what to do. I started my journey in studying Judaism because of nearly losing my own life and my friend had been there for me through all of my struggles, even when he had nothing but kind words to spare. I feel gutted and devastated because he was going through so much. He was going through so much that I too went through.

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I am sorry for the preamble. I make this thread just to ask what is customary in Judaism when a loved one is lost? He wasn’t Jewish and I haven’t technically converted, but I just would like to know. What is done to cope? I wish that God were a person I could just pick up the phone and call right now, sob to, and hear comfort from. I wish that God were a person I could go see to ask about my friend and how he’s doing and to be hugged while I mourn his passing. I have been losing people yearly and I am fearful of it all. Judaism is something I turn to daily to busy my mind and to keep me learning. But I feel lost right now and like I can’t stomach to do anything but think of how my friend and I were just months apart, both struggling with homelessness, self-loathing, and existence in general.

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Sorry I don’t have anyone I can talk to at this hour and I just needed a space to ask for help