Hello there, this is my first ever post to reddit, please let me know if this is not the right place for this question/dilemma.
I am going to convert to Judaism and I have been attending the shul in my town for a year and a half, for Shabbos night and for Shacharit services, as well as a lot of studying on my own time.
My family is very traditional conservative Christians: not evangelicals but Lutherans. I have not believed in the teachings of the church for a long time (I had my first communion while wondering about whether G-d is real and feeling guilty about it!) and my parents know that I don’t attend services in my town and haven’t for a long time. However my family’s policy is basically to ‘not talk about it’ with anything so we don’t talk about things openly.
So I have not mentioned my Jewish studies/practice to my family at all. I live far away from them and don’t really use social media, so this is easy to do.
Does anyone who has been in this situation or just in general tense family situations have any advice on how to bring this up safely and productively?
My family is not just culturally Christian, they are true believers in hell and Jesus and everything, I went to church every week of my life growing up. I’m also not comfortable generally being open with them (I am also queer and haven’t told them this either. My sister knows but reacted badly when learning of it and we simply don’t talk about it) but I feel this is an important thing. For now it’s one thing to visit over the holidays and go to church once a year to please them, but I will not want to do that once I formally convert. I know they will take it really personally and I am actually afraid, but I don’t think this can stay a secret for more than another year. I am not sure when I will make it to the mikve in the next few years but I would welcome any advice from anyone, or even just someone to tell me that similar situations have been gotten through.
Again, if this is the wrong place to post, I will remove it. This is my first time on Reddit.