Conservadox?

Are there any jews out there like me? I was raised by atheist parents with no religious education except hebrew school. I changed on a trip to israel 25 years ago but not othodox by any means. I love going to shabbat dinner at the rabbi’s house. but my wife stopped doing shabbat dinner at home when the kids went to college . We both believe jewish is not a religion we are “a nation with a covanent with hashem”. I attend chabad mon thurs morning and lay tefillin if I wake up early enough. I love morning kabbalah class with the rabbi, I believe some kind of revelation happened at sinai,but i do not take torah literally or as history, I do not believe the earth is only 6000 years old, I believe evolution is a fact, I watch tv and drive on shabbat but i do not work and would never eat non kosher meat ever, I believe the torah was written by men 2000 years ago after the first exile I think ezra got the general ideas passed down over the previous 1500 years but no way they got everything exactly as given at sinai and im not sure what was revealed at sinai but something happened and I believe my ancestors were there. I love to study kabbalah it is much more interesting to me than talmud or jewish law. I think the chabad rebbe was an awesome leader and lived on a different level of reality than most of us. My wife and I both would do for a jew before a non jew. I think the Ari was on another level than we are and knew hashem like no other since moses.. Attending a tish in mea shaarim as a spectator is one of my favorite things ever feeling the energy going right through me. I am a very complex combination of 3500 years of jewish history and a lot of drugs when i was younger. We love chabad because our rabbi here is awesome and you are accepted no matter what level of observance you are at. oh and I love Ben Shapiro