Born jew with no culture looking for suggestions on learning the culture.

I’m russian ashkenazi Jewish, always been Jewish, celebrated Hanukkah and sometimes Shabbat. (rarely) My mother celebrated Christmas sometimes, but even then we were so poor it was often skipped, whatever.

I’m 20 and realizing idk shit about my culture, I want to revel in it and enjoy its intricacies but I’m shamefully uncultured, makes me really sad.

I live in Arizona and was taught barely anything. My dad tried to teach me Hebrew as a child and gave up very quickly, my parents just didn’t find it important to teach me further than surface-level stuff. I was taught the horrors of the holocaust and that people hated me more than anything else.

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(despite all this I still got harassed and had a note in my bag saying filthy jew in middle school lol)

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ANYWAYS, I’m looking for good YouTubers, podcasts, and books I can listen to as recommendations for consuming my culture, things that include why we use fish amulets as luck yannow? deep intimate things. stuff abt our mysticism, and lore, fun stuff esp! down to learn abt the Torah ofc but more than that!!!!