This is probably going to read a bit like a Yelp review but I felt compelled to share my experience. Some of you may remember me posting last week as I looked for a shul in LA where I could afford to observe the High Holidays. I landed on what is the most unique synagogue I could have found, Beit T’Shuvah on Venice Blvd.
To begin, Beit T’Shuvah is a recovery facility that incorporates faith and Judaism as integral parts of healing and repairing the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wounds of its residents, many in their 20s and 30s who are recovering from years of alcohol and drug abuse with more than a few having been in and out of jail. Yes, there is a membership for purchase, but much more reasonable than where I had attended services as a child, and yes there is a pay what you can option, which I very much appreciated.
One unique and unexpected attribute was that the Eref Rosh Hashanah and Morning services incorporated the residents of the recovery facility into the proceedings in a stunningly beautiful, if not overly ordained main room. What struck me was how well put together all of the residents were. It is clear that appearance and accountability are requisites for staying in treatment here. As we went through the traditional readings, residents would come up to tell their story and describe what a particular passage meant to them; there’s a Hebrew word for it but I can’t remember what it is. I’m going to get a little profane here just for emphasis and clarity. These residents are not angels. Many of them hurt others, they all hurt themselves. But as they stood there describing what giving in or repentance or the blessing of the body or whatever the passage or prayer meant to them, they owned their shit! I found myself thinking this was the anti-facebook, the anti-Instagram. Their lives sounded like and looked like hell, not like perfect rosy pictures of how we think the world wants to see us so that we can feel adequate about ourselves and be worthy of friends or a job interview.
At one point, a young man stepped up to the Beema and introduced himself as being 102 days free after being convicted and incarcerated at age 16 and given a sentence of life with no possibility of parole. He is now 36 years old. He was moved to/from Max facilities here in CA for the past 20 years. Even though he had no tattoos, and no signs of fighting or street life, I immediately concluded that he murdered someone in the most horrible way to have received this life in prison death sentence. I am a cynical man, so as I listened, I waited to see the bullshit that must come out to convince the naive that he was worthy of being out of prison. It never came. He didn’t say a word about why he was in there. All he did in the most calm way was share that God had other ideas than him dying in prison after being locked up at age 16. He wasn’t resentful, wasn’t critical of the system, wasn’t revengeful and he didn’t feel sorry for himself. He was just grateful that one of Governor Brown’s last acts before leaving office was to commute his sentence, and grateful to Beit T’Shuvah for giving him a bed and a place to stay. Grateful to Loyola Law School for taking up his case and most importantly grateful to God for keeping him on his path and giving him hope.
This is but one example. There are many more. And each and everyone of the residents looked like they worked at a Big 4 consulting company or for IBM. They spoke eloquently, authentically and without pretense. They could easily have been a friend or work colleague.
I have never done drugs recreationally – I tool 1.5 Oxy out of the 100 that the hospital gave me when I had spinal surgery years ago. I have only had alcohol four times in my life. So what would I have in common with all of these abusers and addicts? It turns out everything but the drug. As I listened to their stories, I found myself battling the same demons that they did. Why I am not an addict, I have no idea, but I am equally self destructive and harmful to others. I am equally in search of reasons to keep living and for what plan God has for me, because as far as I can tell I haven’t yet figured it out.
Somehow I found myself in LA looking for a synagogue where I could worship and afford to worship, and somehow I found my way here. I admit that I am not a particularly religious Jew – someone on this Reddit channel accused me of not prioritizing my Judiasm, and he was probably right, although I didn’t need to be told to fuck off for asking a question. Regardless, somehow I made my way to Beit T’Shuvah. I don’t know if everyone would appreciate the energy, the authenticity, the participation that is expected at services here, but I also don’t know of anyone that wouldn’t.
If you are someone looking at this new year as an opportunity to call bullshit on the stories you’ve been telling yourself, if you are someone who has been a tourist in your own life, watching it happen and providing color commentary from the sideline like it’s someone else’s life, if you are just wanting to be equally supported and equally expected to hold yourself accountable to your own forgiveness of yourself and of others, then you might come by Beit T’Shuvah on Venice Blvd in Los Angeles. I’m glad I did.
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