Weird question maybe. But I’ve got some issues (a disability, need to get used to calling it that) that make it difficult/impossible to sit. I’ve been going to services at my college campus as an attempt to make friends there. The services are reform/progressive from what I can tell. There’s a lot of sitting, and the entire time I feel on the verge of tears. I’m trying my hardest not to be distracting, to move or shift too much, but it hurts so badly. I just… don’t know what to do.
I don’t want to be that person that carries around a big pillow to lounge on during services and Shabbat dinner but also… can I? Is that allowed? Can I chill out on a bean bag (they have these enormous wonderful ones I use extensively between classes) during services or is that horrifically disrespectful? Who do I ask? The rabbi? Is there a good way to approach this? I don’t want to disclose my medical diagnosis to him. But I do want to keep going to services. I’ve avoided synagogue for years because of this, all because I’m too mortified to ask and the pain makes it too unappealing to go.
Edit: I can also stand, but the nice old men and women in the back always rush me over to empty seats when I try 🙁. That’s why I think I need to talk to someone. I need a badge that says “allowed to stand.”