I’ve tried looking for specific subs cuz I don’t know anyone else who has dealt with this but my rabbi told me he knows it happens, so i figured I’d try here. Using “messianic” as a search term is a big yikes btw, do not recommend it.
But basically, even amongst other jewish converts I’ve found that the specific nature of going from messianic to jewish is like. Unique and weird. I don’t talk to messianic folks so I’m not sure if my upbringing was just weird but basically I didn’t know that I wasn’t jewish until I was in college, and finding out was one if the most devastating and isolating experiences of my life. I kind of want to know if anyone else has gone through that and maybe how they coped with it? Because even after converting its still something i struggle with in terms of guilt, and also how to grapple with beloved childhood memories that i now know were built on lies and antisemitism and stuff.
Just thought I’d give it a shot. I read the rules and i dont think this violates them but if it does im really sorry 😓