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Another played out question on G-d and objective morality

Hi everyone, I’m a non-religious Jew; I guess you could call me an agnostic. I have a few questions about the nature of G-d and the Jewish view of how he relates to humanity. I admit I’m not the most educated on this subject; so bare with me. This will probably be an unorganized ramble.

Like most religions, I would assume that Judaism views morality as an objective thing that comes from G-d alone. He created everyone and everything; as such, we couldn’t possibly claim that we know better since we are his creations. Please correct me if I’m wrong on this.

This, of course, brings me to the problem of evil. I know, I know. It’s probably been played out for you all. But I’ve seen the answers and they don’t satisfy. I really do want to hear your thoughts, because it’s a sticking point for me. I want to be more connected with Judaism, but my faith is admittedly lacking. Some might say I lack knowledge; fair. So here I am seeking that knowledge.

Here is a G-d that has infinite power, unlimited knowledge of everything that exists before it exists. Yet when his people are killed by the millions, he allows it. He allows the barbarity. For what?

Some say that the Jews were being punished for their sins, but that makes no sense. People who were undoubtedly pious and learned were murdered along with the non-religious and the wicked. Rabbis, scholars and so on. What lesson would the Jewish people learn by punishing the righteous along with the wicked?

Some say that G-d had to allow it because if he didn’t he would be interfering with free will. Ok, and? G-d interfered with free will before too. He hardened Pharaoh’s heart in Egypt. Interfering with free will is clearly not a new thing for him.

Some say that there is no explanation which will be satisfactory, so we nonetheless need to trust in G-d and have faith that he knows what is best for us. This answer is the one that quite frankly angers me the most, and the one that I guess leads into my main question/point.

Trust that G-d knows best, regardless of what he has knowingly allowed to happen, and continues to allow every day? Why should I just accept that? Why should anyone accept it?

“Well, G-d is the source of all morality, so even if we find it hard to understand, we can’t really call him immoral”.

Is G-d the source of morality though? Is he? Or is he just so infinitely powerful over all of us that we must do what he says?

I think this is just a clear case of might makes right, and quite frankly I cannot accept it. If we wouldn’t accept that a dictator can murder all his people with absolute impunity because nobody has the power to stop him, why do we have a contradictory mindset with G-d? If we wouldn’t accept that a cop with lots of connections to the county court beats the crap out of his wife on a daily basis, and gets away with it, why should we just “accept” when G-d knowingly allows his people to be harmed?

Might makes right is not what determines morality. We know that because of what’s self evident, what’s in our hearts. Just because I might be thrown into Gehinom for my sins, or going against him, it doesn’t all of a sudden mean that he’s moral. It just means that he’s infinitely powerful and he has the ability to punish people.

Even if G-d were conclusively proven to be out there, why should he be worshipped? Is “because he has infinite strength and you get no say” truly an answer? If so, why?

You all probably think I sound like an angsty teenager in posting this. Fair. I’m 18, which technically still counts as a teen, for what it’s worth. Maybe that’s true. But I’m just curious is all.

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