hi! i’ve never posted here before, but this happened at my friend’s hannukah party earlier today and it’s been bothering me a lot.
i (f18) am the only jew in my friend group – ashkenazi, born and raised. one friend is in the process of learning so i’ve been showing them the ropes of our culture. they hosted a hannukah party tonight with a mix of our common friends and their other friends!
i’ve made my great-grandma’s famous matzo ball soup for my friends before. it’s a tasty classic and my mom says i make it exactly the way great-gma used to. at the party, one of my friend’s goy friends made her own matzo ball soup for us to try! it was honestly great, i was surprised she had never made it before. but one of my good friends (also a goy) decided to say this:
“y’know, out of the two bowls of matzo ball soup i’ve ever had – one made by a jew (referring to me) and one made by a non-jew – i much prefer this one!”, followed up with “sorry MimikyuMom, it’s just true! yours needed a little more salt…”
now, i’m not upset that a goy’s google-recipe recreation tasted good. i’m proud of her and happy that she partook in our culture! but hearing my friend say that loudly in front of everyone was just crushing. it was insulting to me, to my great grandma, to my family’s authentic recipe… he didn’t need to put me down in order to bring someone else up. that was just needlessly hurtful.
i didn’t want to cause a scene, so i didn’t say much, but for the next half hour i was struggling to hold back tears until i got my stepdad to come pick me up. i left super early to go sit in my mom’s arms and cry a little bit. how pathetic am i to get so worked up over such a small thing?? (editing to add: i didn’t have a breakdown over soup lol, i’m the type to cry out of embarrassment. plus i was just sad that i had to leave early over it, especially cuz i don’t get to see my friends very often.)
am i being overdramatic and too sensitive, or is it understandable to be so upset? my friend is allowed to have his opinion, but he could’ve at least kept it to himself and complimented her in a way that didn’t cut me down, right..?