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Am I allowed to feel lonely and sad?

Important context: I am ethnically Jewish but I was not raised Jewish. I am currently in the process of discovering my culture and heritage. I’ve been loving I so far and feel very connected to the culture.

With that being said… I’m the only living Jew left in my family, so I don’t have any familial traditions to engage in or rely on. I have found family, but those include an atheist, a wiccan, and a Catholic, no Jews. I have a small community of Jewish friends online, but I don’t have a community here in my real life. The closest Synagogue is an hour away, so I’m unable to make any meaningful connections that way.

I’m sorry for the rambling, but I guess I’m trying to say is that I feel very lonely and isolated. I know that as a Jew I am part of a larger worldly community, but as a person, I feel so very alone. I yearn for a community to sharey ideals and connect with in person. But I wonder, since I’m basically a ‘new’ Jew (learned of my family heritage within the past year) I’m worried that maybe I’m not allowed? Maybe I’m not Jewish enough to want to be part of the community, to genuinely and deeply yearn for what my Jewish friends have.

And in light of recent events, aside from feeling bad in general, am I allowed to grieve? My heart hurts so much.

I don’t know, I just wanted someplace to vent my loneliness. Thank you for reading

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Source: Reditt