Hopefully I don’t get trashed here over this question, but I guess I’m having some crisis of faith lately.
I’m Jewish (mother is Jewish, both her parents/grandparents were Jewish) and was raised Reform. My father and his family are Christian. So I’ve always been exposed to some degree of both religions, although growing up I was raised primarily Jewish while recognizing some Christian traditions.
It’s hard to explain, but as a teenager I was very into studying religion and had some religious epiphany that made me shift more to the Christian teachings, although still following Jewish traditions, viewing myself as Jewish, etc. I guess I felt some connection to the life of the Apostles and the first century Jews who followed the moral teachings of Jesus.
Lately, I’ve been really soured on Christianity due to a lot of the behaviors of Christians and some crises of faith over current events. I’m also becoming very disillusioned by the United States and do not like the path it’s headed down. I’ve been recently looking into possibly exploring moving to another country, but Israel is the only country I could conceivably move to. But now I’m learning as a Jew of split theological beliefs and upbringing, I likely will be rejected by the Law of Return. For the record, I’ve never tried to convert Jews, I’ve never proselytized, I don’t associate with the Evangelical Jews for Jesus movement; I personally despise most Evangelicals and their beliefs. I’ve always felt more closely tied to Jews and Judaism. But I obviously have some degree of conflicted beliefs compared to most Jews.
I guess I find it odd you’re rejected as a Jew if you hold different theological/religious beliefs than Judaism, but you’re not rejected if you outright reject G-d entirely.
So at this point I’m not sure what to believe and my religious views are all over the place, but I still don’t want to lose my Jewish heritage. It seems I’m destined to be rejected by both sides of the religious spectrum.
Anyone else dealt with a crisis of faith and upbringing and didn’t know where to fit in?