Exactly what it sounds like, as a goy I had an idea for a short piece of epistolary fiction from a shady magical entrepeneur character of mine called Carkinekros* selling
cynical garbage great deals on Passover merchandise, but I’m well aware the idea could go very wrong very easily so I decided I should probably run what I got so far past Jewish folks to see if it’s in too poor a taste.
For clarity’s sake, the butt of the joke is not meant to be on Judaism/Jewish practices, but the character’s cynical profiteering and corner-cutting, and the reason I specifically was thinking of Passover is one specific gag I will bring up at the end.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Treyf Frozen Snack-Type “Food”! – Basically, microwaveable snacks that are very not-Kosher flavors/flavor-combinations, but technically are kosher because she made a whole new animal to make them out of that technically follows kosher laws!
If you’re wondering why it says “Not Treyf” instead of “Kosher,” the mashgiach called in to inspect it was so horrified that he started screaming and never stopped… but technically he didn’t qualify it as Treyf, so she considers that technically passable. The best kind!
10 Gallon Drums of Lamb’s Blood– Just smear it on your door all through the year! Nobody’s going to fuck with you if you have lambs blood on your door! Just ignore the earthquakes at any participating outlet. Or the low; unspeakable moaning. Now in 4 different exciting colors! Disclaimer, red color not included in this assortment.
(The joke being it’s implicitly being harvested from some giant underground lamb-monster, ala Lillith from Evangelion)
Bag of Plagues… 2!!!– The reason I came up with this premise, basically taking from the “Bag of Plagues” thing I’ve heard about, basically the idea is she assembled a bunch of stock vending-machine prizes to put in bags and wrote what’s the equivalent of Talmudic fanfic to justify it.
Like, “And then, after the plague of vaguely-paleontologically-inaccurate dinosaurs and the Slime Rain, the plague of sticky hands approached!” that sort of thing. Of all the “entries,” that one would probably be the most elaborate.
So, given the samples I gave, would it be in too poor a taste?
And, I’ll note I don’t have that many ideas, as you can tell, again I am a goy so I mainly know of this stuff secondhand, so I may as well ask the community, what ideas would you find funny as “Bad Ideas For Cynical Passover Products From An Otherworldly BusinessCrabWoman”?
*Note, said character is a goy, she’s also an other dimensional crab woman with a tragic backstory who runs the magic item-equivalent of a salvage grocery store/dollar store, and probably has a very loose grasp on Judaism
Her actual religion would probably be either “Kill God and take his throne” or “One I made up that you can pay 10 bucks a month for, it even has a secret decoder ring!” inspired by characters like Bubs from Homestar Runner, Eddy from Ed Edd N Eddy and Roger Corman from real life.
submitted by /u/tbok1992