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2 years since the beginning of my tshuvah

Well, it has been 2 years since I started doing tshuva and… many many manyy questions arose. Questions that anger me. Questions that make me wanna kick people sometimes. Basically, I’m starting to simply despise rabbinic authority.

I study every week. Every semester, in my group of studies, the moreh takes a book to read with us. Now, we’re reading a book about chalavi and kosher. The rules dude, they seem so… detailed and thorough. My moreh tells me that there are yeshivot that keep studying this the whole year. HOW THE F did they come up with those details about kosher? It is simply NOT in the Torah. My morim answer to me “the Torah tells us to entrust the laws on the chachamim”. Who says they’re Chachamim? Who says they’re smart? How can I deem Baal Shem Tov a smart person if he said in the past that SMOKING CIGAR COULD BRING THE MESSIAH BACK EARLIER?

That’s another thing, the way they treat these so called chachamim. It is like they’re divine entities. I DO NOT BOW TO ANY HUMAN BEING, no matter how much of a Tzadik he could’ve been. I ONLY BOW TO HASHEM. Humans and their laws are not divine. No one can convince me that any man has divine authority. I WILL NOT put a picture of the lubavitch rebbe in my house (even though he was indeed a great man).

Although, even though these questions anger me, there’s a lot of beauty in rabbinic Judaism. I do believe in the Oral Torah to have some divine origin. And I will never stop believing in the G-d that took my people out of Egypt. There are indeed very smart people, like Rambam, in rabbinic Judaism. I’m not an atheist, I just don’t believe in His creation, Humans.

Edit: I’m not against rabbinic Judaism. I’m not in favor of abolishing this. I’m just against religious indoctrination. They can’t make you believe anything they want. Humans have flaws, and even the most wise sage can have a thousand of them.

submitted by /u/alyussif_4
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